Only IF you knew

Wow it been years since i last updated! (: So here i would like just to tell you. How im deeply sorry for everything i have done. I know i might have hurt your feelings by my words &actions. Im truly sorry for all that. I know sorry is a very cheap word. I know you don't even believe me now. You might think it too late. Yes i know. But only. Only if you knew the hard times and trouble that i had to go through. Only if you knew how much courage i have put in too overcome ll my fears. Only if you knew how much courage i have put in too let go of that miserable moment of mine. I will never forget but with the courage i have put in im began to able to forgive slowly. With the same courage i took the risk to overcome everything on my own. With no one by my side to give me morale support that everything going to be fine. In fact it will went better than what im expected.  Just to console me that the same history won't repeat again. Everything that i did. I did it for  reason. I don't do it on my own accord. But if you think at i did was just being selfish and mean. Im truly sorry for what has happened now. Yes it too late. Too late to realized that you are the right one for me. Too late too realized that you are different from other guys. Too late to realized that your love for me is sincere and that you are not toying around with my feelings. Too late to realized you accept me for who i am. And that i am not going to find any other guy like you who actually love me without asking me to change who i am. You still find that i am perfect and pretty just the way i am. It hard to find a guy like you who can stand up with my suck up attitude. Which can be naggy at times, grumpy for no apparent reasons, and yes childish at times! Too late to realized that you are actually one in a million for me. 

If another chance was given to me again. Which i know it will not happened. You won't give me another chance. But if that happened. I thank ALLAH S.W.T for everything that he done. I thank him for opening up your heart to provide me an opportunity to make things right again. To give you all the love, care, sacrifices, protection and support that you have once given me. A time for me to repay everything that you have done for me. To give you everything that i should have done long time ago. To do what a girlfriend got to do. To be able to tell the whole world that you are mine. To tell the world how i treasure you the most. To tell the whole world how i would stand up strong for our relationship. To tell the whole world that i am ready to face the obstacles again with you. This time with the full of my love and yours. In sha allah we could make it together no matter how rough it get. I wanted to do back all the times we once used to do. I wanted to take pictures with you with all those silly faces. Those movie date. Those little surprises for our birthday and anniversary. Those jokes and little fight and arguments we had which spark off our love. 

Yes we may have alot of major differences! In terms of height, education, skin tone, our features. Especially our attitudes, misunderstanding & miscommunication! But those differences are the one that makes us outstanding right? Those differences are the one that makes us stand strong to hold onto the relationship we once had! Those differences are the one that put us alot of trouble and alot of shits that we need to face together! Remember how once we both almost gave up? But we motivate each other to stay strong? We must not be weak. And that we promise to go through all this through the up and down? Yes that what keep us going! Remember how my parents had difficulty to accept you? How i console you that you must not give up? Cause i still need you in my life. I want you and me together to last? I want the both of us to prove to them that our love is not a puppy love. But we truly are serious and we wanted to really last.

"SAYA SAYANGKAN AWAK SEKARANG DAN AKAN SELALU SAYANGKAN AWAK WALAUPUN NADI SAYA DAH BERHENTI. AKU MENCINTAIMU KERANA AGAMAMU, JIKA HILANG AGAMAMU MAKA HILANGLAH CINTAKU PADAMU"